Her joy is so contagious. She definitely brings an extra dose of magic to our lives 😄 Today is the last full day of school which means lots more running around outside for all of us. 🥳
My Girl
I woke up in a funk today worried about a myriad of issues (big and small), but was interrupted by the sound of someone speed-scooting into my room chanting “Mama-Mama-Mama!” 💛 “Is that my girl?!” I always ask. We played several rounds of hide & seek around the bed (she’s a magnificent tease) followed by another favorite game, “laugh hysterically about nothing!” Life has its challenges but God has written me a few personalized prescriptions, and one of mine is named Lydia. #misslydiefaith #theluckyfew
Smiles
Flashback a month when we were still wearing coats.** The playset is coming along! This guy loves to build and is a willing helper. He was asking us what color we were going to paint it and was not too happy when I told him white. “What?! Then it will look like a house, not a fort! Come on, can’t you imagine a green and brown fort?! I just want to enjoy this in my childhood!” 😆 Sorry, Bud. You get the monkey bars and rock wall, Lydie gets the cafe table & party lights, and Mom gets not an eyesore in the backyard (and a hammock swing). He was sort of appeased when we showed him our inspo pic but we’ll see... #compromise #momsplayhouse
Everyday Beauty
So busy and so tired. Always trying to figure out what my kids need and trying to meet it (usually only half successfully 😬) while simultaneously trying to figure out who I am. I feel like I’m coming off a concussion after Covid—constantly spinning around wondering what we are doing and how to adapt. I’ll get there. I haven’t played with my camera for a long time and it felt really good to get out and create some authentic nonsense. Finding beauty and order in real life moments—it centers me.
Now What?
Today in church someone told the story of Christ’s disciples. Many were fishermen who “straightway” left their nets & followed Him. Christ taught for ~3 yrs during which these men saw miracles, heard & accepted new ideas, & were faced with persecution & trauma. It must have been utterly life-changing.
Then the Lord was crucified. Everything they had come to believe was tested. After 3 days, Christ rose from the dead & they saw the resurrected Lord before He departed from them for a time. And after that—after all those life-changing experiences, well, they didn’t know what to do. So they went back to their boats/nets & became fishermen again.
Christ, both loving & needing His disciples, visited them w/ another miracle. One day a man called to them from shore asking if they had fish (no) & offering advice. They followed his advice & caught a LOT of fish! Then the disciples knew it was Jesus & Peter jumped out of the boat to meet him.
The speaker wanted us to consider all that we had been through w/ Covid & to consider an important question: now what?
Of course I thought of covid & its many challenges. But this time will always be linked for me to the last 3 yrs as a whole: Lydia’s birth & DS diagnosis, her 💛 surgeries, & 32 mo of quarantine.
We have seen trauma & hardship; we have learned & embraced new ideas; we have seen miracles. It has been utterly life-changing. Now what?
Do I go back to who I was, before?
That seems crazy & impossible but leave it to human nature to get comfortable & lazy about life. I don’t want to go back. We’ve learned too much & hard as they were I cherish those lessons.
So, now what. What have I learned/gained that’s good & how do I hold on to that?
Christ asked His disciples repeatedly if they loved Him, then asked them to feed His sheep.
What an overwhelming directive but doesn’t it all just come down to that? Remember the Savior. Do what He wants you to do. Help others.
I have so many questions, so much social awkwardness, so many anxieties about the future. I don’t know that I am personally called to any great world-changing position, but I do think God expects us to keep moving fwd & to not forget. So I’ll try.
"I love you!"
love this cute surprise capture from the @weallbelongutah rally last week! 💛 I’m usually behind the camera so these rare gems mean so much to me. I have been soaking up this girl, lately! Three is one of my favorite ages and I don’t know how but every day she gets cuter and smarter and her little teasing sense of humor develops a little more. We were running errands today and it hit me so hard how grateful I am that I get to have this pure, sunshiny, loving girl in my life. We were waiting for something yesterday and the easiest way to entertain this ham is with a camera 😉 I got so many clips of her saying different things we have been working on! We’ve been learning how to say “I love you!” and she’s getting there! My favorite is how she always confuses which direction to point for “you” and always points at herself—because that’s where I point, at her, of course! 😅 Heaven help me when she spontaneously whips this out on me one day 💛 #misslydiefaith
Spring
At the park. I read today that the average Gen Z-er has an attention span of 8 seconds. 😬 Where are these screens taking us?! I feel like I need to go spend more time unplugged & outside. Summer goal # 1.
Together
We did a lot of therapy, today. Therapy is hard work. No one likes to fight their habits, face their fears, and change. Sometimes we yell in frustration. Sometimes we cry. Sometimes we pick ourselves up and try again. Sometimes we don’t 😜 (Yes I use “we” on purpose.) After all that struggle, I was away from her for a few hours tonight. When I came home, she climbed giggling into my lap like she does, because I am her person. Then she collapsed into a full-hearted snuggle and I melted right into my chair. 💛 We will do all the things, my darling. We will fight the battles and pay for the services and celebrate the baby steps and try fifty million times until we get it right, and picture you, always, cresting the mountains you someday will in your own time. You just teach me how to love.
Summer Prep
It’s that time of year when I start scouring the interwebs for ideas of how to keep my kids busy all summer... 🏒🛼⚽️🎨⛺️ Drop your ideas and help a sister out (please)! So far Lydie gets a water table... 💦
Back to Normal?!
April: Vaccines, vacation, visits (dr & family)... Normal-looking life is that you?!! 🙌🏻
Big Smiles
This little bug has been a sicky all week but I think we’re improving in time for the weekend 🤞🏻☀️
Free
I must have lost my mind when I ran out of the house without my phone
To chase the light and the boy
Down the street, around the cars, across the field,
Laughing as I wrestled the rough kite string away from the kitty
Gasping each time the pointy blue nose dove at a tree
And smiling at the unruly hair of a dare-devil pilot who, swiftly maneuvering his wind-whirled falcon,
called up to its snapping wings:
“I like that sound!”
I do, too. I had forgotten.
Conversation
I have a plan for you.
It’s different from yours.
There will be a lot of questions. Some days will push you beyond your limits...
But I will be there.
This plan will require a lot of faith and love. It will require patience and strength. Sometimes the ask is great and you will feel like you are walking in the dark; but I promise, the gift is greater and the light will come. I’ll be there, too.
I have a Plan for you. And the promise is JOY JOY JOY.
Not ease, not fame, not keeping it comfortable... it’s an all-in full-scale press for growth. Growth that’s hard; takes time; does not always follow a straightforward trajectory. The path, the cost, the answer, the goal is Love.
I have a Plan for you. Will you accept?
Yes.
Eternal
My heart is full of big feelings, today. After reading the latest Indy update from @terahbelle & @hashtagbjones everything is tender & significant. I found Terah’s IG when Lydia was 3 months old—almost 3 yrs ago. If you know our story, you know that Lydia's first 2 yrs were very rough. She was on oxygen for 18 months. She had open heart surgery at 5.5 months old & due to complications w/ that had a permanent pacemaker placed... which was later recalled. Before her surgeries she was so weak she could not cry or eat; so vulnerable we never left the house w/ her. Sweet girl to this day has been in almost constant quarantine since she was born. It was hard, anything but normal, & it broke my 💛. For 6 mo my days were spent in our basement apt trying to feed my girl around the ⏰ so she could gain enough weight for surgery & not get sick, while family took care of my boys & kept their world going. It was a lonely, desperate time, & I spent hours reading, praying, & learning about real HOPEFUL life w/ T21, including from IG accounts. That is when I found the Jones fam. At the time, Indy had recently been diagnosed with leukemia. From afar I watched Indy's family fight, knew they lived in the same state as we did, & were seen at the same children's hospital. I watched videos of darling Indy shining her light. I was amazed by her capabilities & she stole my heart w/ her sweetness. I've never seen a family fight such a desperate battle w/ greater faith, grace, or love. I've never seen a human full of light like Indy. I've watched & prayed & laughed & cried w/ them for 3 yrs & during some of my own dark struggles. It gave me courage. Hardship is not a stranger to the DS community, but neither is LOVE. And this fam...they’ve taught me in a unique way 1 of the most valuable lessons I’ve ever learned: that life can be desperately hard & still be incredibly full of beauty, goodness, love, & light. If you follow them, you know. Beautiful angel Indy & her parents painfully inviting us into their story, teaching the world how to show up to the impossible, how to exercise faith, how to leave it all on the field, & how to love. That’s a light that lives forever. Thank you. ✨🤞🏻💛
Pause
We were supposed to get her biannual blood work done today but she’s got a cold so we’re taking it easy and watching silly learning songs, instead. Happy to postpone that trauma & hoping this runny nose will peace out soon as we go into this quiet weekend of snuggles. 🥰
Resilience
She is ready to DO this! We have been practicing walking with increasingly fewer supports. She does great with a one finger assist or a pushing toy (stroller or grocery cart) . Yesterday during physical therapy we went out in the hall and practiced with just a scarf around her waist. I kept it slack until she started to lose her balance, then used it to help her stand back up. She knew that SHE was doing it, and she loved it. She tries to walk as fast as she can and her momentum tips her over. Down she goes and we get up and try again. It’s absolutely exhausting to watch and even my little scarf role can be tiring. We knew she was getting tired after we walked all over the school halls, so we headed back to her classroom for snack time. Once we opened the door and went inside she burst into tears because she was NOT DONE! 😅 So we left and walked some more.
I wish I were as excited and self congratulatory every time I worked to overcome something hard. Fall down, get up, fall down, get up, day after day after day. Progress is slow as it often is with life-changing things, but she doesn’t give up and she doesn’t expect the change to be instantaneous. She just keeps showing up and before I know it, this girl is going to be running everywhere expecting me to keep up.
Nature Therapy
I already need another spring break 😅
Blossom Confetti
Sun Flare
Our weekend was simple but full of light. Hope yours was, too. ✨
The Hand You're Dealt
When he married me I guarantee he didn’t expect to be my stand-in model while I practice all sorts of things, but here we are. Thanks for always being supportive, Babe. And also 🔥😘
