Christmas holds a lot of messages, but the one that has been pressing itself on my heart this year is: surrender.
Holidays & celebrations are HARD for my autistic daughter.
I’ve pondered on what inclusion should look like for her in these situations. Does it mean adapting a role in the nativity to a child who wanders on stage, or who dresses like a dragon, as occurred in our beautiful church pageant this year 😁 Absolutely. Does it mean sensory-friendly activities where overstimulating lights & sounds are toned down so that those w/ sensory issues feel more comfortable? Yes! Does it mean providing quiet rooms & sound-canceling headphones at events? Three cheers!!Does it mean the white elephant isn’t so much surprise as a pre-arranged safe toy chosen & delivered in safe wrapping with appropriate expectations? Yep.
These are all accommodations that we have either made or been offered this year. And we needed them. 🙏🏻
But… what if… after it all… it still isn’t “enough” and disability still carries the day? What THEN?
What. Then. The great weight on my heart. Because so many place value on Christmas & traditions & togetherness & celebration. But disability doesn’t get to choose. Every event we attend I find myself trying to balance the love we receive w/ the love I need to give. And thus we come to it: surrender.
Sometimes inclusion means letting go. Actually, I would say that ALWAYS inclusion means letting go—letting go of your idea & plan of the way it was “supposed” to be under typical/ideal circumstances. That’s the whole point. Inclusion is prioritizing the needs of an individual & adapting accordingly. Sometimes that means creative participation. And sometimes, it means no participation, or absence, & accepting that as an appropriate choice. (CHOICE.) Letting go, completely, of YOU, & surrendering to the need at hand. It’s hard; harder than I’d like to admit sometimes. Especially during emotional times like celebrations, holidays, & Christmas. But so necessary.
Long ago, a mother was given a situation she didn’t ask for & replied, “Be it unto me according to Thy word.” Her Son grew up to do His Father’s will & change eternity.
Surrender.
