These things always catch you off guard, & it’s been such a busy day. We have literally jumped from thing to thing without stopping. Fresh from nephew’s b-day party & headed into son’s basketball game number 2, a woman with beautiful, brown, curly hair caught me by the elbow, her eyes smiling from me to Lydia & back again: “Remind me of your name?” “Annie,” I replied. And she explained, “I was a nurse manager in labor and delivery…”
The whole world stopped. She remembered Dan. She remembers Lydia. Lydia who became the first baby with medical or developmental differences to be pictured on the walls of our local hospital’s labor & delivery and mom & baby floors. Lydia who broke my heart wide open & now holds a sacred, cherished space up on those hospital walls honoring all those who came before & will come after her. Lydia who shines so that other broken-hearted parents can hold their new babies to their hearts, square their shoulders, & hear our welcome message to their angels loud & clear: “You are worthy, you are loved, you belong, you belong, you belong.”
Lydia is five now, I was able to tell our nurse, who couldn’t believe it. She no longer works in L&D, but she still remembers our girl and is touched by her. These things are like that—utterly life changing in a way you can’t explain. And it’s not because of us—it’s because of these T21 kids; the nature of their coming and being and all that entails.
Dan still has a list of our favorite nurses on his phone. We pulled it up and looked at it after the game had started and we’d found our seats. I still have deeply personal & emotional letters I wrote to several of them, kept in a journal somewhere. Trauma has robbed my memory of many of their faces, but not of our conversations, their kindnesses, or their life-giving love in that most tender time.
Five years but I remember, & apparently others remember as well. Hopefully the world is a little bit better because one little girl showed up & rocked a few boats 5 years ago; I know mine is. Harder, but better. Fuller, more understanding, more diverse. Stronger, but softer. A million little things.
It was awhile before I could choke it all down & focus on basketball.