At 4 days old, Lydia had an echocardiogram. An echo is an ultrasound of the heart and is the most reliable way to accurately see the heart’s structures without actually going in there. It is not a fail-safe, however, as we would find out during her open heart surgery. A tech came and performed that first ultrasound right next to her NICU bed, then an off-site cardiologist read and interpreted the results. This picture was taken just minutes after we received Lydia’s heart diagnosis. We were literally on our way out of the NICU—oxygen, monitors, and medical supervision on hand, headed to a hospital-requested photoshoot—when the pediatrician on call showed up to tell me the results of the echocardiogram we had done the day before. No one could have anticipated that timing and I tried to gather my scattered thoughts quickly as I assured the doctor that photographer and nurses could wait—this was more important. I could tell he was hesitant and I should have taken my cues—this was no information to be dished out in five minutes—but I truly had no idea what was coming. As he started describing—LISTING—the various findings, my brain stuttered. I had heard the words “congenital heart defect” before, but what did that MEAN? The doctor patiently but hurriedly (photoshoot, remember? 😂) drew a diagram of a heart on a piece of paper and described what the issues were and where they were located. Within 15 minutes we were on our way again, me pushing all that new and heavy information to the back of my mind to deal with, later. I could not have been A) more naive regarding this diagnosis or B) more committed to seeing at least one picture of a special needs/medically fragile baby on those hospital walls in order for that photoshoot to happen. It was basically a disaster but we got what we needed, and while they can never really KNOW the full story, I hope that future parents in our situation, devastated by some serious diagnosis, will look at that picture of our baby girl on the wall—in the very thick of it—and know they’re not alone.
#misslydiefaith #heartwarrior#chdawareness #theluckyfew
