Untraditional Family Pictures

🍁A fall afternoon 🍂 This will be the 3rd year we haven’t scheduled family photos. I just can’t do it. And I, a family photographer, BELIEVE in family photos. But for right now, for this family, it’s just too much. There’s all the normal stuff… the coordinating outfits, getting everyone ready, finding & scheduling a photographer I like, the travel & expense. The hyping the kids up for it. The hyping me up for it, “I can do this! These are the only pictures I’m actually in!!!” But then, there’s the extra. With our life there’s always so much extra. In any given photo circus everyone ends up overstimulated and crazy by the end. We’ve alllllll been there. But you throw a neurodivergent in the mix—a kid who is unable to process the extra stimulation—truly unable to roll with it; unable to deal with a stranger yelling their name (heck, won’t always look when I say her name) and couldn’t care less about treats or toys or any bribe you got because the only language we speak is “GET ME OUTTA HERE AND BACK TO MY SAFE ROOM, PEOPLE!!!!”

Sigh. It’s rough.

I’ve taken a lot of pictures of kids with special needs and here’s what I know: you can’t rush it. You can’t be loud or crazy. You can’t always act silly or make weird noises. You can never ever expect or demand a smile. We ain’t gonna mini session our way outta this first meet ‘n greet, honey.

There has to be trust. And someone who REALLY knows what they’re doing. And I’m not just talking about the camera. And I’m sure as heck not talking about posing. My gosh NEVER POSE.

I once had a professional photographer try to take pictures of Lydia and I had the misfortune of being there. They were trying to whip a whole bunch of kiddos through in five minutes: “You smile, now you smile, now you smile,” click click click. We burned the place down. My heart burned with it. Because my girl, she needs a little more than five minutes to give you her real self. To give you anything, actually. Total disaster. Whatcha gonna do?

This is all to say… I can’t do it. The screams & sobs from 3 yrs ago are still echoing in my brain. So this is the stuff you get, peeps. Please remember I was there, too.