Humans are critical thinkers and systemic beings; it’s how we survive and how we feel safe in the world. We create structures and boundaries to maintain and support order (at least for the dominant group). But there’s always outliers to the system, and people with disabilities are some of the most obvious outliers. As system-programmed participants, we generally respond to outliers in one of two ways: either with compassion and understanding, or more commonly, with fear and apprehension.
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People with disabilities used to scare me because I didn’t understand them. I lived too much within the system of rules and boundaries and expectations. But now I see differently and with a wider perspective. Take Lydia’s age, for example. When I drop her off at kindergarten, she is 5. But when she is at home, jabbering away in her own language or needing me to feed her, she seems much younger. Lydia lives outside of time in many ways—it’s fluid for her. And when you remove specific boundaries, all that is left is core principles: childhood and parenthood. Nurturing and love.
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Rules, systems, expectations—they keep society going, I get it. Milestone-making productivity is a great thing. But it’s not the only thing. And stripping away some of the “rules” has opened my mind to many of the core aspects of humanity in their purity: Joy. Pain. Connection. Wonder. Communication. Struggle. Determination. Triumph.
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Not only have I replaced fear/discomfort with compassion and understanding for the outliers, now; I CELEBRATE them, and thank my lucky stars I get to learn at their feet.
