Disability is not cute; that’s where we get it wrong. Too often, people try to capitalize on disability and call that advocacy. It’s easy to do—so many times moments with the disabled cut straight to our hearts and show us something poignantly real about ourselves. If not handled carefully, this can snowball into a quick-fix trivialization of an entire population; or in today’s content-hungry culture, a steady stream of carefully-curated feel-good dopamine hits. I’ll say it again: disability is not cute. Disability is AUTHENTIC.
[Edit: I’m talking in broad terms here, about society as a whole, not any specific person or account. I have seen many clips published by any number of companies or accounts go viral featuring individuals with DS and wondered why. I have had many people tell me my daughter is so cute (and she is) but then proceed to do tasks FOR her, and then wondered if they see her as MORE than cute.]
It’s scary as a parent-advocate to walk the line between wanting to portray your child in the best light to a society who, for the most part, is blind or has limited experience with the true gifts & positive contributions this community has to offer, while also needing to be honest about the things that are hard—because this too is advocating and necessary to bring about change.
I am learning to stand in the in between. To witness the dualities of life. And to represent it fairly. Truthfully, I don’t know if the internet is ready for that. But I know that mothers are. Moms have long known that love and struggle walk hand in hand. Light contains the full spectrum of colors—some of which our eyes can’t even perceive. Truth and life are like that, too: dualistic, full-spectrum, exquisite.
Authentic. But not cute. And that’s ok.
Permission to be real is granted here.