As a senior in high school, when asked why English matters, I wrote “Everyone has a story and something valuable to share with the world.” This intense belief became a guiding light in my life as I chose my career: English teaching. I recognized the power of writing and expression to unleash personal stories, and I wanted to help empower others to share what they had with the world. Communication has always been very important to me. Fast forward many years, and then there was Lydia. She has managed to rearrange & expand my perspective on all my core beliefs, including this one. Truthfully, my heart has ached over how hard spoken language is for her. But there has NEVER been a moment in her life when we have not communicated. She and I share a unique bond that transcends words & I believe time. Some of my most sacred moments as a mother involve “talking” WITH Lydia through difficult, even heartbreaking struggles. The bond is so real that even when she was a 5 month old in the hospital after her surgery, doctors commented on it. WE just ARE. 💛 And thus I learned that “communication” can mean many things, and is a layered concept. I long for words. I long for HER words. And I believe they will come in her own time. An update: Lydie is “nonverbal” in that she understands many words but volunteers few. She will ask to “eat” or for “water” or “toy” or a few other single-word requests if highly motivated, but that’s it. Sometimes she says “bye!” or echoes “love you!” 🥹 She knows many signs, and many SONGS. Music is our biggest key—she memorizes well and will sing to herself often. Lots of times it’s unintelligible, but we first started catching melodies, and now phrases. We play Taylor Swift & Miss Rachel constantly for these reasons. She knows her ABCs & their sounds, but the majority of her sweet classmates are also nonverbal & we are trying to get her in an environment that will better help her speech development. It’s a tricky world and we are always learning. We love her so much. She has taught me to LISTEN with my eyes, my body, my ears, and my whole heart. Someday those words will come. Her story, however it’s written, is worthy.
