Dear Self, When you’re scrolling through your feed, what makes you stop and “like” an image? Is it because it’s “good”? Because it shows something you want? Does it reaffirm your opinion? Or is it to connect?
I think a lot of us come here to connect, but that’s not what this platform is geared towards. It’s driven by numbers and popularity and those likes we all base so much of our worth upon.
When someone puts something of themselves on the internet—a story, an image, a piece of art—many are trying to make money off it, sure, but most of us (and even the $ makers in some respects) are saying, “This is me.” And that’s a vulnerable act. So if no one responds or relates, our natural response is to feel unheard or unworthy. I believe that’s why so many of us come to hate this place. Because the silence and comparison seem to shout, “Thanks for showing up. You are not enough.”
And when people do show up with their shiny likes and affirmations we hear, “This! More of this! This is what I must produce!” But production lines aren’t always inspiring and are rarely if ever genuine or unique.
Brené Brown talks a lot about vulnerability and its importance. But I’ve also heard her talk about trying to be vulnerable while respecting yourself and not just giving your whole heart out to every unproven person to trample on.
And frankly, that’s what the internet does best—trample. Even when we don’t mean to, sometimes we scroll, scroll, scroll without so much as a, “meh.” Pass those pictures, those people by.
I’m over it.
You are not unworthy. You can like something because you like someONE no matter how the algorithms try to direct or buy your attention. And if the likes don’t show up it doesn’t mean you’re less of a person or that your story or art is not valid and important. It means that we’ve forgotten, all of us, how to connect. That we’ve been trained to evaluate and walk on, saturated by so much information that we stop seeing faces—or hearts—altogether.
You can walk away. You don’t have to bleed yourself dry for something that doesn’t give back. You can create and build and hone and save it for those people & moments that matter. That see. YOU matter. Love, your ❤️.
