Long day at the hospital yesterday having some standard tests done on L’s 💛. “Cardiology days” are always exhausting but yesterday went well. She had her 1st sedated echo. For each echo (& there have been many) in the past, because she was so little & they prefer not to have to put those tiny ones under, I have had to straddle her on an examination table, sometimes for up to 40 min, & hold her still while singing/trying to entertain as a tech obtains the necessary images of her heart. 😳 Since she is bigger now (& stronger & harder to hold still 😅) she was sedated for yesterday’s tests. That brings its own significant kinds of stresses for both Lydia & me, but the hospital staff did an amazing job yesterday making it all as positive as possible. No small task for a little girl who has been through so much & developed a mortal fear of anyone in scrubs. 😢💛 It’s funny, but most of our days I either forget or bury all the emotional hard & toughness these experiences take. But every once in awhile I get a really clear & vulnerable look at just how tenuous life can be. Days when they examine my daughter’s heart & interrogate the device that causes it to beat every minute of every day—these are sobering moments.
As we went through the whole thing yesterday & heard results (positive) today, I definitely felt exhausted, but even more than that, GRATEFUL. Grateful for medical personnel who dedicate years of study & practice to helping others live their best lives, and especially the ones who tend to a child’s emotional health as much as they do the physical. Grateful that I live in a country where high-quality medicine is readily available & for the insurance that helps cover it. Grateful for the friends & family who pray for my girl continually & for the miracle that her daddy works at her children’s hospital & can be there to support her! 🤯 But most of all I am reminded every time that this girl’s life is a miracle that would not have been possible in the not-so-distant past; that every day I get with her is a literal gift from God. There isn’t much more humbling than that. So, tired? Yes. But what a small "price” to pay for 1 of my greatest gifts. 🙏🏻 Grateful.
