The months leading up to Lydia’s surgery were very hard for me, and the closer it came, the harder it got. A month before the surgery we had her baby blessing and family pictures. I had to do those things. You never ever ever want to think “just in case,” but, yes. Those were the thoughts and motivations behind everything those days. The emotions still bring me to tears, and these pictures will forever be so precious to me. Lydia was in heart failure for months before her surgery; surgery was necessary. She couldn’t eat well—feedings took 1.5 hr each and were an around-the-clock chore. Any sickness would have set surgery back at least six weeks and so we kept her very isolated, even from her brothers. We took turns attending two family weddings, going to church, and everything else. The boys spent the summer with their grandparents because I just couldn’t meet their needs and Lydia’s at the same time. Dan and I were getting 4, maybe 5 hr of sleep each night, and Dan was commuting an hr to and from work each day to a brand new job. A week before surgery, I got SICK. I evacuated the house while Dan took off work and I literally slept for 3 days straight. My body had met the limit of what it could handle emotionally and physically. It took everything we had. Our new bishop (we recently moved) asked me, “How did you do it?” In all sincerity, the answer is GRACE. There was no other way. I lived it and I still don’t believe how hard it was or how we made it. The ONLY way we survived those days was through Christ’s help. The literal strengthening, enabling power of the Atonement. I have never prayed like I did during that time. I have never seen miracles like we did. It was hard and sacred and unforgettable. #chdawareness#misslydiefaith
