Need

We climbed back in the car recently after a family outing outside, and I was completely ebullient. Deeply exhaled joy over the saturated colors of mid fall and crisp air and wide open space to breathe and move and see and feel. Nothing incredible. Just beauty. Just my people. Just… space. Being. Peace. AIR.

“It’s like MEDICINE to you.” Dan expressed emphatically. “I don’t think you know how good it’s going to be for you until you get back.”

“It IS,” I acknowledged, camera around my neck for the first time in a month, pondering on the fading light of golden hour and how very much I need to see it. Need to notice. Need to unplug. Need to create. Need to catalog the beauty, the light, the shadows. Not just mentally but physically. Artistically. Habitually.

“It really is.”

Happy Mother's Day 2023!

I was walking Lydia through the children’s hospital once when I saw another mom accompanying her child to an appointment wearing a shirt that said, “Mom AF”. I felt that in my bones 😆
Today at church a woman was catching other women in the back of the room and showing them a gif of Wonder Woman on her phone. WW was throwing punches with lightning coming out of her bracelets and the woman was saying “This is YOU!” She caught me, rocked my hand, and told me, “You are a MOM.” And since I had just wrestled Lydia for an hour exhausting every toy in my bag (and every non-toy, too), I felt that as well.

I don’t know what this day holds for you, but if you’ve ever loved a kid and have some stories to tell from that wild ride, I submit that those two messages/badges of honor above are meant for you, with love, too.

Happy Mother’s Day 💛

The Hair

“Rapunzel & the Super Scary Sensory Monster”
That would be our children’s book. Maybe I’ll write it one day ::sigh:: This girl who LOVES to have her hair down and cries when I braid it or pull it back, but who HATES to have it combed or dried.
Our latest post-bath time routine involves terrified full-body bear hugs (legs and all) while I blow-dry her hair and constantly reassure her, “Mama’s got you.” These sessions simultaneously break and melt my heart (almost literally as it’s really hot with all that hair, hot air, hugging & wrestling going on 😅). But they mean a lot to me and reaffirm in a new and different way the sacred space I hold. I am her safe space. …Oh that’s a heavy place to hold. But we keep holding it. We keep hanging on to each other, sometimes like we’re hanging on for our lives, sometimes just breathing each other in. I’ll do my best to keep you safe, you’ll do your best to keep me grounded and laughing. This is the sometimes dance, sometimes full-body terrified bear hug. “I’ve got you, I’ve got you;” on and on we go.